It’s been really fun looking back from a year ago and seeing how much our life has changed. We were newly-weds and parents in the same year and it was difficult (and still is at times) to calibrate to each others’ thought processes, motivations and human identities. We both come from very different backgrounds and fusing our experiences together in our marriage hasn’t always been a walk in the park. But one thing that we can be sure of is how vibrant our lives have become since getting married and having a daughter right away.
I’ve mentioned before that I have this all or nothing attitude about things - I’m going for a 3 mile run, or I’m deciding that running is pointless and I’ll stay home and binge the office from the couch. I’m making something extra yummy for dinner or Tim can fend for himself and I’ll eat hummus and crackers. I struggle with the in-between-ness in life. But there’s one thing that has no in-between and cannot be put on a scale. Either you’re 100% on board or you’re 100% not. Marriage. You’ve never heard of someone who is “half” married, have you? It’s like saying someone is half-dead.
With marriage, there is no in-between. From the moment you face your husband or wife at the altar and speak your vows, you give up any lukewarm half-in, half-out attitude. As couples we are commanded to choose all of each other every single day of our married life. There’s no fine print. Some people see marriage as a limiting and traditional institution that has a back door just in case “things don’t work out.” But the reality and beauty of marriage is that when you choose each other you are fulfilling an extension of Christ’s gift to your spouse. What a privilege it is to grow so intricately intimate with God’s creation that He gives you a person to walk along side you for the rest of your human life! I get that not every moment of marriage is cupcakes and rainbows (does the toilet paper roll go inward or outward?) and just the fact of knowing that the man or woman you’ve married chooses you no matter what the circumstances in life bring is pretty stinking awesome.
Tim and I went to a family friend’s wedding last weekend and the pastor spoke about how Eve was made from Adam’s rib. His rib symbolizes Eve being Adam’s partner to stand at his side as an equal, to be close to his heart, and to be protected under his arm. I thought this analogy painted a beautiful picture of marriage.
I pray that the world gives marriage the credit that God created it to have. I pray that couples and families see marriage as more than just being filled with a human and fallen love, but that it is seen as a liberation in Christ to always be all-in.